For all those who want to stop sucking cock!


The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Association of Social Workers state:

Sexual orientation has proved to be generally impervious to interventions intended to change it, which are sometimes referred to as “reparative therapy.” No scientifically adequate research has shown that such interventions are effective or safe. Moreover, because homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, national mental health organizations do not encourage individuals to try to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Therefore, all major national mental health organizations have adopted policy statements cautioning the profession and the public about treatments that purport to change sexual orientation. The statement of the American Psychiatric Association cautions that “[t]he potential risks of ‘reparative therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior.”

The Australian Psychological Society states:

"Homosexual orientation is not a mental illness and there is no scientific reason to attempt conversion of lesbians or gays to heterosexual orientation. The Australian Psychological Society acknowledges the lack of scientific evidence for the usefulness of conversion therapy, and notes that it can in fact be harmful for the individual. Changing the sexual orientation of a person is not simply a matter of changing the person's sexual behavior. It would require altering the emotional, romantic and sexual feelings of the person and restructuring self-concept and social identity."

Read more

ماخولیا

الان با "الاغ بی ایمان" تو خیابون بودم. هوا داره پاییزی میشه، با خش خش برگ و باد سرد و این چیزا!
ولی عجب باد وهم آلودی و عجب سکوت وهم آلودتری.
نه من میدونم، نه کس دیگه ای. شاید دارم خودم رو با سکوت گول میزنم، شاید هم با فکر کردن. واقعا مرز تخیل و واقعیت کجاست؟ با جایی که من راه میرم خیلی فاصله داره!
یاد یکی از کابوس هایی که معمولا میبینم و پر از حشره های چسبناک با نیش های دردناک هست، افتادم. یادمه از یه جایی یهو حمله میکردن و میچسبیدن به تنم.
بعد حوصلم از عشق سر رفت. عشق کیلو چنده آخه؟؟ شاید هم چسبیده به تنم. نیشم میزنه...مرز لذت و رنج کجاست؟ روی پوست من؟ توی ایمان تو؟
...
میدونی، همیشه گفتم که جندگی به تعداد کسایی که باهاشون خوابیدی مربوط نمیشه، بلکه یه جور خلق و خوی هست. ذهن من آلوده شده! آلوده به سم حشرات چسبناک و بدبو و لزج؛ مثل یه جور مرض. از این بیماری ها که یارو سال ها باهاش دست و پنجه نرم میکنه، بعد یک شب عزراییل میاد به دیدارش و میگه بیلاخ!! هنوز نوبت تو نشده، باید فعلا جر بخوری تا بعد بری بهشت. تو بهشت هم که به آدم حوری میدن. حوری به چه درد من میخوره آخه؟ تو وصیت نامه بنویس یه دیلدو هم با من دفن کنن، اون دنیا لازم میشه!

...
این پاییز کذایی...یادآور گه ترین خاطراتی که دارم...کوچه هایی که توشون ول میگشتم، سیگارهایی که دود میکردم، باتری هایی که شارژ میکردم، چای، قهوه، قطار، کوپه، فیزیولوژی، بسکتبال، 405، 78!؛
خسته شدم بابا! دیگه فکر نمیکنم. عمل هم نمیکنم. تبدیل میشم به یک نبات. آب می خوام، با کلی نور. برو کنار بزار باد بیاد!؛
Read more

خاطره

امروز تو میدون ولی عصر یه خانومه بهم گفت: "خوش به حالتون که با یه شلوار و یه تی شرت میاین تو خیابون! من دارم میرم اداره دولتی باید با مانتوی بلند و مقنعه برم!" بعد کلی حرف زدیم. آخرش گفت: "دعا کن کارم درست شه، البته دعا که نه، انرژی مثبت بده!" ه
Read more

پدیده ای به نام اواخواهری

این پست از اون پست هاست! قبل از هر چیز واسه این که کسی نگه چرا انقد فکر میکنی کارت درسته، توضیح میدم که من از بعضی از این موارد پاک (!) هستم و به بعضی از اونا گرفتار. تازه میتونیم، مینویسیم، مشکلیه؟؟

چند روز پیش یک خبر می خوندم درباره اینکه تحقیقات نشون داده که رضایت فرزندان زوج های همجنسگرا بالاتر از فرزندان زوج های دگرجنسگراست. دلایلی مثل سطح تحصیلات و فرهنگ بالا رو واسش آورده بود.

تعداد زیادی از گی هایی که من دیدم تا حالا نه همچین تحصیل کرده بودن، نه با فرهنگ، و در مواردی با عرض شرمندگی کاملا بی شعور بودن!! بعد همه میگن اصولا گی ها با فهم و کمالات و مهربون و هنرمند هستن! تنها هنری که من دیدم ساک زدن بوده، که تازه خیلی ها هم درست دندوناشون رو نمی پوشونن!

 یادمه وقتی مهستی مرد، یکی از گی های بسیار با شعور و کمالات مدتها در وبلاگش عزاداری برگزار میکرد، کلا جامعه اواخواهران افسرده شده بود! این هم میشه شعور! یعنی کلا غیر از مهستی و شهره و اینجور کس شعرا کسی چیزی گوش نمیده. حالا من نمیگم گوش نده کسی از این چیزا، ولی هر چیزی حدی داره!

موضوع بسیار جالب دیگه نحوه استفاده از اینترنت هست! اصولا بین این عزیزان اینترنت یعنی مکان یافتن سکس با مکان! محل یافتن این موهبت الهی چت روم های یاهو و سایت من جم هست.استفاده از اسکایپ یا ام اس ان، فیس بوک، تویتر، لست اف ام، آکا آکی،  و بطور کلی هر وبسایت یا سرویس آنلاین که به درد بخوره هم که اصلا باب نیست!

  یه بار من آنلاین بودم (البته من همیشه آنلاین هستم!!) بعد یک نفر تو یاهو پیغام داد ، گفتم آقا من دوست پسر دارم، بعد طرف کلی شاکی شد که پس چرا تو یاهو هستی! یعنی این که کلا اینترنت و تکنولوژی و همه اینها کشکه، مگر این که بشه به کمکش یکی رو پیدا کرد و بهش داد! یا مثلا حین شلوغی های بعد از انتخابات که یاهو فیلتر شد، یکی از دوستان بسیار ناراحت بود که با مسنجر تحت وب نمییشه رفت تو چت روم و این چند روزی که ننه باباش نیستن از کجا کیر پیدا کنه؟ واقعا چه دغدغه هایی داریم! حالا شما تصور کنین که من یه بار داشتم به یکی توضیح میدادم که چطوری از فری گیت استفاده کنه!

میدونین نتیجه این همه کوته فکری و بسته بودن ذهن چیه؟ این که وقتی به هم برسیم جز خاله زنک بازی و این که واسه کی ساک زدیم و "پسر همسایه عجب جیگریه، چجوری بکشمش رو خودم؟" و این جور چیزا هیچ حرفی واسه گفتن نداریم. دوباره میگم که قرار نیست بشینیم مسائل مهم مملکتی رو حل کنیم، اما هر چیزی هم حدی داره.

شاید بشه گفت که خیلی هم بد نیست که تو ایران حقوق و ازدواج و داشتن فرزند توسط زوج های همجنسگرا قانونی نیست، چون اگر غیر از این بود، اون بچه بدبخت چی میکشید!!ََُ

پ.ن: واسه اینکه دل خودم و کله پاک کن بیشتر خنک شه یک خاطره دیگه مینویسم:
اون: "تاحالا گی کردی؟"
من: "گی کردن یعنی چی اونوقت؟"
اون: "یعنی پسر با پسر دیگه!"
من: "خوب بگو سکس!!"
اون: "نه دیگه، این سکس نیست! پسر با پسر میشه گی کردن، دختر با دختر میشه لز زدن، پسر با دختر میشه سکس!"
من: .....
اون: "حالا کردی؟"
من: "به تو چه؟؟"
Read more

Freedom, and the consequences!

When you are living in a country like Iran, you are living in fear.

It's a constant fear of the outside. You can never stand for your thoughts, or your rights, not only as a citizen, but also as a human being. They teach "The Fear" from the very first day. From elementary school til you go to the university. You eventually live The Fear!

What is the fear? Well, it's kinda hard to explain, but mostly you'll be afraid of burning in hell, and since God is everywhere, watching us (like he has nothing else to do), you'll always watch yourself; the way you act, the thoughts you think, your social behavior, etc.

The funny thing is the time when you finally wake up, and start thinking differently; "A new vision". First you try to hide it, and always doubt your thoughts: "What if I go to hell?!"
Then, you'll become a rebel! Always showing off your radical thoughts and be proud of them.
And finally you'll live in paranoia, and the fear of being spotted and tortured, murdered...

Being an Iranian gay guy, I live in paranoia, it's kinda hard to avoid when you hear on the news that teens were hanged for being gay or that Iraqi gay people are being tortured in the worst ways and then thrown away like a bag of garbage.
Coming out of this god damn closet is more like a dream! And the reality is living in exile. You won't be in an island of tribes who will sooner or later eat you alive, your island is your limited ring of friends who are also living on their own islands.
Isolation kills, seriously!

The worse part? Being an Iranian gay guy! Not because being gay sucks or we have no rights! Actually you get to go to men's pools and men's gyms and you get to see all the guys naked, which is like heaven!!
We all deal with the shit I said earlier, but when you're gay in Iran, you have to deal with extra shit, you know, more fear, more paranoia. And the sad thing is the gay scene, which is nothing like a safe place to fuck and have fun, it's more like: "Kill or be killed!"

But who's to blame? Ourselves! with no role-model, no guarantee, no future and also The Fear, we all turn out psychos!

This post turned out to be a complete bullshit and I'm gonna end it with no conclusion!

PS: Nice brain storming though!
Read more

الاغ بی ایمان

بعضی وقتا آدم یه جایی مثل اینجا گیر میکنه! بهش میگن وضعیت "اره به کون"!!! نه راه پس داری نه راه پیش.

این الاغ هم که انقد محافظه کاره، که گاهی آدم میمونه که واقعا انقد خنگه؟ یا اینکه ما رو هالو فرض کرده.بعد که خودش توضیح میده آدم فکر میکنه که صادقانه و کاملا رمانتیک، ابلهه! اوف، اینم شد زندگی؟

احتمالا "خدا" بودن خیلی خوبه. همه به حرفت گوش میدن! اگه بگی یه ماه همتون دهیدراته بشین، همه میگن که: "حتمن مصلحتی در کار بوده دیگه!"

خوب آخه الاغ! اگر مصلحتی در کار هستش، یهکم به حرف من گوش کن، ناسلامتی من خدا هستم ها!! شاید خودت هم باور نداری...


؛
Read more

Sucky Post!

Dear Diary,
pffff, what a sucky day!!
Some people say I've been lucky, I have a good job, fairly good income, etc. But the thing is I don't feel that way. The big Q is : "Why?"

The reason is quite obvious: I didn't reach the place I wanted, didn't become the person I wanted to be. I just fell into another road, leading to another destination.

Fear is a really important factor here. 'Cause if there were no fear, there wouldn't be any disappointment. We'd all walk our own paths, leading to the place we wanted: Self-Image!

So what is my self-image? What is yours?
We all see our parents trying to make us do what they wanted to do when they were young, but never did - maybe because they were afraid.
And we may or may not do what hey want us to do. Anyhow this will lead us to treat our own children to do what we were afraid to do.

Don't get me wrong, I know the effect of circumstances we can't control, I'm just talking about what we can control.

Anyway, these thoughts led me to a worse thought: "The other day, I seriously wished I wasn't gay!"
Yup I really wished for it - and they say careful what you wish for!
I'm not gonna explain how I got to this point, but I'm gonna share what I decided: When you are afraid to do something, don't blame it on the circumstances you are forced to live with.

Anyway, where was I going?! Oh, the sucky day!
Well I work in a company, a good company, and I hate it! Simply because it is in the way of my self-image. And I'm afraid to quite, because of the circumstances! See how sucky can things be?!

God, what a sucky post!
The Fag is so depressed that he can't judge all the other fags like he used to! Sorry for that, I'll try to get back on track and continue judging other people ASAP!

PS: Even my gaydar is not working properly anymore! God!!

Manly Love
Fag
Read more

The Fag is Back!

Hey guys, queens, men, etc.
I re-opened my diary after a short "deletion-period' due to some paranoid thoughts.

I just don't know what to say anymore. Not that I've lost my gay sense of humor, but after all we've been through, it's kinda hard to just get back to normal. 'Cause nothing is normal around here anymore.

I just want to thank all my foreign friends who showed their support and concern by sending emails and messages.

Let's all hope for better days to come.

Love
Fag
Read more

A variation of Homophobia: Heterophobia!

Not long ago, i was hanging with some friends. And there was this guy who came out to us: He was a heterosexual!

I couldn’t believe it! I mean the very idea of a guy sleeping with a girl is so…what should I call this rare unnatural phenomena?

And when you think of their poor parents and what they have to go through; the shame of having a heterosexual child is such a burden.

I once saw another heterosexual who told me this is natural and even some animals do heterosexual acts and I told him that there’s a difference between human kind and animals but he tried to convince me that heterosexuality is just normal and he was born this way!

I myself can’t stand this, all straight people should die and go to hell! God made us as kind and emotional beings able to love our own kind and gender but these people walking among us, calling themselves normal are just a disgrace and a treat to the families.

Let’s all stop this non-human act now!

PS: Don’t be mad at me, just laugh! ;)

Read more

The player…who played basketball!

I will call Mr. “A” tomorrow.I didn’t know what to tell him. Maybe I meet him. What will we do? What will I say? This is so hard! I just remember all those times we spent together. We really enjoyed each other. Going to classes, having lunch, fucking around, having dinner, sleeping. It was quite fun.

What am I gonna tell him when he picks up the phone?

You know there was only a problem; a slight misfortune, or misunderstanding you might say: He is straight!

All my love remained unanswered…for 3 years!

What a fool I was, it practically made it hard for me to fine a relationship, and I tried hard to forget him…guess I never really could.

When you love someone, they occupy a place in your heart and never leave. And at those moments that you think you forgot them, this feeling gets out and reminds you of the pain you felt.

By the way, I didn’t call him…didn’t have the guts to do so!

Read more